Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
