I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
