Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
