It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
