I should be sponsored by Trojan
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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