Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
I'm sitting in front of a fan naked drinking Gatorade. Motherfucking hangover probs
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
