My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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