I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Randomize
