I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
