The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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