I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
