i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He? As in you personified your dick?
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Are these your boobs on my camera?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
