You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
