do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
