never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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