My brain says no but my pants say off.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
