i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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