These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
