the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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