rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
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