I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Randomize
