Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
