i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
