Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
