I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
