I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Randomize
