Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
