some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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