I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
