i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
