He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
