Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
