Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
The dick lei will go down in squad history
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
