just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
