I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
