Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
