Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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