Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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