Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
