That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
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