Sponge bath it is.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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