Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
