Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
