I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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