I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
