don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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