The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
