I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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