Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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