um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
