Pappa wants mamma naked
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
